why is hatred for women trending
how incel cultures are growing & are social media and radical feminism some of the factors to blame?
Hatred for women has always been very much embedded in society, but over time, it’s been manifesting itself differently. Almost like it adapts with the evolution of societies?
Please be advised that I will be discussing sensitive topics, such as SA, as well as hateful and threatening speech towards women. Reader discretion is advised.
Incels and expectations of women
I remember receiving a DM on twitter a couple of years ago of some random guy asking me to “show my tits”, and after not replying he told me to kill myself. The idea that a man’s first reaction after not being sent a picture of boobs was to tell a woman to take her own life made me laugh at how obscene it seemed. I left the app and didn’t think about it until I came across people like Laura Bates and Kate Manne, who described and somewhat offered an explanation of similar (and much worse) situations women go through at the hands of incels.
As many may be aware, incels (or involuntary celibates) are groups of men who display feelings and acts of aggression towards women due to their sexual and romantic inabilities. Although these individuals are mainly men, the term was first coined in 1997 by Alana. Alana (whose surname has not been revealed for safety reasons) created a website for people who were struggling to create and/or maintain romantic and sexual relationships. Originally, this community was supposed to be a safe space for both men and women who struggled connecting with others on a sexual and romantic level, but over time, these communities turned into forums for men who despise women on an inhumane level.
In her book Down Girl: The Logic of Misogyny, Kate Manne explains how women are expected to give “feminine-coded services”. Women give love, we give support, give attention and give sex. Whereas, men are expected to take. They take these feminine-coded services, and often they take these without consent, and there’s no real expectation for them to ever give. Manne argues that misogyny doesn’t always function due to hatred of women, but also as a system of control and punishment towards women who fail to provide these “services”. Although this book was published in 2017, this framework can be used to go back thousands of years. The thought of women being “givers” has always been deeply rooted in patriarchal societies, going as far back as Mesopotamian and Ancient Greek societies. This expectation has - very obviously - evolved alongside the development of societies and is seen now, more than ever, all over social media and covert incel forums.
Social media and misogyny
Social media has massively facilitated the means to harass, be hateful and misogynistic towards women. Platforms such as Twitter, Reddit and 4chan have given incels a “safe space” to express their thoughts and opinions on women, as well as keeping their identities disclosed if they wish to do so, giving them the freedom to post their opinions and views with little to no consequence. Additionally, this anonymity strips away the consequences of misogynistic speech, and may provide incels with validation from other like-minded users, subsequently acting as a reward.
“Wouldn’t it be nice to electrocute some stupid bitch who rejected you?”
Quote taken from a now banned incel subreddit circa 2022.
With the rise of social media, misogyny has also been disguised as “dark” or “edgy” humour, making it seem almost normal and acceptable. Making and sharing memes about violence or control against women has also desensitised internet users to this sort of behaviour, leading to more people sharing similar posts and building a community that may lead to inciting fear and terror against women. Algorithms themselves contribute to this cycle by amplifying content that provokes strong emotional reactions - or “ragebait”- making people interact with the content, pushing these posts into even broader audiences.
As incel culture grows, tackling the toxic dynamics of social media is crucial to stopping hateful and violent speech towards women and making online spaces safer for everyone.
Is radical feminism enabling misogyny?
Whilst radical feminism aims to knock down patriarchal systems and free women from systemic oppression, it can be argued that its portrayal has contributed to the rise of misogynistic backlash.
Radical feminism not only challenges men but also the structures that grant them social power. For some men, especially those already predisposed to romantic and sexual deprivation, this may feel like a personal attack, which, in turn, fuels anger and resentment towards women and feminists.
The idea of radical feminism labels women who identify as such as “man-haters” who want to destroy men, rather than seeking true liberation. These misinterpretations can often be seen within incel communities and forums, and are used to justify hatred against women, often labelling it as “retaliation”. However, some radical feminist discourse can be quite alienating for allies, specifically male allies.
"The male is a biological accident, the result of a defective female."
Valerie Solanas in SCUM Manifesto
The use of dehumanising language towards men feeds directly into the incel narrative that women are antagonistic, making their actions against us “justifiable” in their terms. When all men are portrayed as rapists and a danger to women and girls, even those who might otherwise support feminist ideology can start to lean towards anti-feminist movements, as well as possibly embracing hateful and misogynistic ideologies towards women.
Much to think about here. I am struck by where you end which still seems to suggest that it’s down to women to keep quiet in order to not make men mad at us. So we be nice to them so that they won’t think bad things of us. However that clearly doesn’t work and I am sure that is not what you mean anyway.
I certainly don’t think that lumping all men into one group helps to create allies willing to speak to their peers in positive ways about women or challenging misogynistic actions and language.
But how often we end up with language that is so binary.
Well done for writing so clearly on a difficult and emotive subject particularly in the aftermath of the Supreme Court decision which seems to have loosed an awful lot of very violent language against women.
This was an interesting albeit disturbing read. I do think that social media, ably assisted by the pandemic, has helped amplify misogynistic voices. It doesn’t help that many of those voices already have a platform of power from which to cultivate hate. Systemic patriarchal policies need to be redressed.